The INTJ Female Intergalactic Anthem

All rise for the INTJ Female Intergalactic Anthem…

 

I’m not girly-

And I hate pink.

Had a feeling once,

I think.

Know what they say,

Don’t really care-

Because when I look down there…

Wouldn’t it be awfully nice if I had a penis?

 

I’ve got so much yang

I could get the hang

Of having a wang,

Which is a synonym for penis.

 

Wouldn’t be whining

Because I’m losing

My uterine lining,

Be a ditz

Because I have tits.

Wouldn’t act like Madame Bovary

Because I had no ovaries

Is it so wrong

To want a dong,

If it is I’ll write a song-

And kindly ask for a penis.

 

If I had testes

I would be at ease,

Could do whatever I please.

Could throw a perfect spiral

Without it being wild,

Boss people around

Without being a female hound,

If I had a penis.

 

Oh, and the balls!

I’d put them to the wall,

And I’d have the biggest balls of all-

It’s my greatest wish

To have a brisk-

For which I’d need a penis.

 

And wouldn’t it be funny,

I’d make more money.

Wouldn’t need an epidural

Because gurrl…

Sperm goes jizz and skeet-

Doesn’t give birth,

Isn’t that neat?

And if I couldn’t have a baby

Then maybe

I’d tell my friends

About my doctor in Regina

Who heard

I was tired of having a vagina,

That is if I had a penis.

 

(Obligatory Rap Section)

Wouldn’t be work

To have girth

Would be a vacation

Give myself a standing ovation

No matter what people say

Or do

Because it’s true

I’m more manly

Than any of you.

Getting shit done,

Taking care of business

It’s the truth, isn’t?

Not anyone’s hon,

Enen though I’m a lady

Who just maybe

Thinks that gender stereotypes

Bite

And because I’m a girl

Who acts like a man

In a man’s world

It would be easy,

Although it would make Republican queasy

If I just had sperm

Because in layman’s terms

Some might call me a tranny

But who doesn’t have to worry about

The size of his fanny?

(End Obligatory Rap Section)

 

Gender stereotypes are real,

Hits me right in the feels,

It hurts a lot-

Especially in my crotch

That could really use a penis.

 

So if you have a spare dick,

Or two or three,

Could I have my pick please?

Because a penis would look good on me!!!!!

 

*The writer of this song would like to acknowledge that this is a joke, parody. Gender stereotypes are very real. It is sad and unfair…f*** it you’re probably offended anyway.