extroverts, fear, feelings, humans, introverts, Life Advice, Uncategorized

Santa & Social Anxiety

Here Timmy, sit on this strange man’s lap, who is based on the Norse god of war, referred to as “The Terrifier” and be good so he brings you a present or else, smile for the picture! Say this to a child, and what could possibly go wrong?

Why parents want to preserve this moment in time, who knows? But it’s clearly obvious why some children are scared of Santa. A strange man whose lap they are shoved onto and told to smile, they might as well be a woman and Santa Harvey fricken’ Weinstein.

There are those rare children who love Santa at first sight though- and science has proven that they have gone on to start cults, join cults, usurp the leadership of cults, or become serial killers, science.

However, most kids are sane, and suffer from understandable anxiety, social anxiety. Here are some reasons why your child might not be the biggest fan of parties in the future, good job Santa!

Where’s His Face?

Seriously, where is, and sometimes he looks different, how does he get from place to place, mall to mall so, is Santa a shape shifting, time traveling wizard? Even without “The Terrifier” moniker Santa is a scary. Your baby isn’t going to fall in love with him at first sight, and eventually figure out that something is up.

So Very Jolly

Do you know those people who are just happy all the time? Like Tom Cruise, who are all, or must secretly be in a cult? Santa’s kind of like that, it’s why he has just a chair, not an entire couch. Happiness and good vibes are great- but if you are like that all the time you are on drugs and/or insane. Don’t sick people like that on your children.

New Person Alert!

You don’t have to be jolly all the time to be scary, you can just be new. It’s why Social Anxiety is a type of anxiety. If you are a tiny, helpless child, strangers are extra scary. You can’t defend yourself, say no, get away. Being plopped down on their lap?

You have to be good for Santa so that you get presents, Santa, is, I want to be Jewish mom, Iran has boundaries.

So Much Noise, So Many People

If you aren’t one of those jolly, happy, all the time people, you still kind of know what being on drugs is like. Being overstimulated is a trip- a very painful, anxiety inducing trip. Kids have to wear special headphones to protect their ears, just take your child to the mall, put it in a line with lots of strangers, have people stare at it, give it- yeah.

Timmy isn’t smiling for reasons. All Santas should be sensitive Santas.



He’s Touching Me!

Everyone has their limits, even children. Not all children are cuddly, want to be hugged and kissed. But everyone else thinks that they should be, because children, they could just eat them up. Children do not want to be eaten, be coddled that much, adored, worshipped- and ones who do have serious issues.

They just want to be kids, give them space, ask if they want the hug first. And don’t just plop them down on strange men’s laps.

No Pictures Please

Fun fact, there are three year olds with Instagram accounts. Do they know that they do, ask for one, can even spell “Instagram”? No, although children require some attention, they can get too much, and egads, assert themselves- show you how they feel. Want to be left alone, just be their non-celebrity themselves.

Kids are smart enough to say no, not want to be in a picture. They can be self-conscious, be morose, moody- in a state not good for pictures. Forcing them to be in one doesn’t help, and they will not appreciate that “adorable, special memory”. It is not adorable, and if you think it’s special, and share it, you are very special.

If your child just wants to write, text, snapchat, or email Santa, they’re pretty normal. Don’t force them to be cute and adorable for your amusement when they don’t want to. It doesn’t help the relationship or their anxiety. The next time you feel tempted to take your more sensitive, or just a child, child, to go see Santa and they resist, just say yes to their no. They will love you forever.


extroverts, feelings, humans, introverts, life, psychology, self help, Tips, Uncategorized, understanding

How to Deal with a Self-Righteous Person

Everyone likes to be right win, be perfect all the time- unquestionable, infallible. But Jesus J-walked every once in a while. Life isn’t fair and no one is better than anyone else. Which is a fact people love to intentionally forget.

And they have their arguments, feelings, blinders on that prevent them from ever remembering that. But there are ways you, the not them, can deal with them, tolerate-exist with them. Possibly even wake them up from their stupor.

Contending with their “Truth”, Feelings

For some people, the truth is a very subjective thing, and it offends when they’re confronted with the fact that it isn’t. And the feelings- how not to deal with this is more feelings, trying to convince them that they’re right. It makes things worse.

Instead be logical, let them explain themselves- some people have to see how silly they sound to realize how silly they are. Present them with facts, proven information that they’re willfully ignoring. This is when the defense mechanisms kick in- but this means that they’re listening to you.

Showing your individuality, and respecting theirs, not trying to brainwash them, gets more flies. Much more than asserting yourself to the max and yelling at them, fueling the fire. Standing up for yourself can take many forms.

Be Better Than Them

Not that you are, but better in a civil, polite sense- be the adult, take back the power they think they have. Don’t give them a reason to lash out at you, they can make themselves look bad. That’s everyone’s job, in the end, being responsible for their own actions. What they say, do, getting their s*** together.

Realizing that God has a lot of kids that also need God’s attention, growing up.

Agreeing to Disagree

Do you think you’re ever 100% wrong? No, who does, at first? However, if you can say you might be a percentage higher than 0% wrong, that’s a step in the positive direction. Not a step that anyone enjoys, but a step you have to take.

A very important step that leads to agreeing to disagree, and eventually knowing when to lose. And accepting that, and that it’s fine, it happens to everyone. It’s a true sign of maturity.

Which is why some people need a push in that direction, example. Be that example, disagree with people, but still respect them. Try not to forcibly change them, you can’t be friends with everyone, but you can at least be a good neighbor.

Don’t Pay Attention to Them

Self-righteous people thrive on attention, it’s why they start things or unnecessarily continue things. When confronted by them, don’t give them what they want. You may agree with them, disagree with them, kind of sympathize with them- just don’t show it or say anything. Let your silence and inaction speak for itself.

Because whether or not you agree or disagree, your reaction props them up, validates them. Let them fall, let them stay crazy outsiders. Apparently, they’re enjoying it, will come up with some excuse. You can never be too oppressed or misunderstood, or other underserved sympathetic adjectives.

As long as there have been people, there have been self-righteous people. With toxic, addictive personalities that they totally don’t believe that they have. Although you may feel the urge to strike back, don’t. Let those toxins seep in, let their true colors show.

Oscar Wilde said, “We are each our own devil, and make this world our hell.” Which is everyone’s fate and punishment- and why we project the devil as a different, evil being that tortures poor us! This fate especially stings if you’re a self-righteous person- no one will want to be in your hell with you, your hell is the worst. So self-righteous people imagine it as a heaven exclusively for them.

You can’t break every one of them out of their delusion, but telling them that they’re perpetually stuck in a delusion is a start. And going on with your, not like theirs at all, life afterward, is just winning.

deep thoughts, extroverts, feelings, humans, important questions, introverts, Life Advice, psychology, thoughts, Uncategorized


Everyone has feelings, this is an unavoidable fact. But there is hope, you can have just enough feelings, and/or know when to control them, let logic win, and let feelings lose. Emotionality and passion, especially when it’s excessive is overrated- which is a fact very few people understand or remember anymore.

Having too many uncontrollable feelings is in, more than ever before! You need to find something to be angry about, a cause a purpose. It’s a drive you just cannot control, like never ever, what is reality? And rationality, another R-word, isn’t that offensive?

At this point the bullying, peer pressure kicks in. Being an –ist and saying mean things on Twitter starts “productive” arguments that totally should happen because justice. And the millions of other people who fall into this trap.

Being the sane one, who remembers that they’re individuals, who have hearts and brains- the things that make you think before you rush to judgment because you’re just an authority on like everything, is rare. You can usually be found hiding, avoiding conflict, or only letting your cat judge you.

Because good look trying to convince an extreme person, with an addictive personality and righteousness complex that they’re wrong. Or remind them that everyone doesn’t like them, or agree with them, or that there’s more to the world than them.

And that their belief don’t make them better than everyone else, and they could be wrong. God, the truth, Jesus, or who, whatever being on your side doesn’t mean you have to win, get your way all the time. That’s childish and unrealistic.

Which is why they have to form little cliques and groups to have friends, label themselves oppressed outsiders when they really aren’t. Upper and middle-class college students who constantly, and unnecessarily apologize for slavery are not oppressed. But they might actually be poor themselves, because college.

These groups then go on to be even more fervent, and evangelize- whether or not they’re religious, and draw people in. To help their cause, change the world- and granted, the world can be a pretty messed up place, but the changes you’d like to see aren’t always right for everyone, who also live on earth, and have rights. And don’t want you in their business all the time.

Also, if you’re the one making everyone else look worse, attacking people, who is the real monster? It is impossible to ever convince someone 100% that they’re wrong, but when it comes to angry, self-righteous people who are just loud, and shout to prove their points- this percentage is much closer to the square root of negative one.

When it comes to most other people though, who feel no need to shout and proclaim that they’re oppressed to communicate their thoughts and opinions- they do not really care that much. Some are just trying to survive, get by, not start things.

They’d rather get along, and not always understand, but try not to judge. In truth, most of the population does not care who you sleep with, what you eat- unless it’s babies and kittens, or how, where you worship. It’s not their business, does not affect them.

As long as you’re not openly an –ist, especially to them.

But if it does, then communicate better, more reasonably, justly- babies and kittens are innocent, they need to be protected. Because when it comes down to it, they have bothered to learn the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness.

Martin Luther King was righteous, the people who looted and tried to burn down cities after he was martyred were not. Why? What did the mattresses at Sears do? Justice was served, calm down.

It seems hard to tell the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness, but there are ways. Here are three different scenarios.

Scenario 1

Marsha and Brenda, two transgendered lesbians who identify as sheep, are approached by the pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church regarding their life choices and proclivities. The good Christian pastor berates them and tells them that they’re going to hell unless they find Jesus.

Meanwhile, Marsha and Brenda just enjoy the show and eat their gelato. Who was being self-righteous?

The pastor, what did Marsha and Brenda do to incite him, who started it? And who just ignored the situation and didn’t give it any attention which is a sound strategy for most situations. You give something more power by feeding it.

Scenario 2

Jimmy Carter is at a Bar Mitzvah, during the joyous dancing he exclaims that Israel is oppressing Palestine. This starts an argument with the Rabbi, who is being self-righteous?

Jimmy Carter is most at fault. Israel could be doing better with Palestine, but does anyone at that Bar Mitzvah have anything to do with that? The Rabbi could be self-righteous as well, but is defending yourself when confronted ever really self-righteous?

No, it’s a natural response. There is an art to do it effectively and eloquently though.

Scenario 3

Marsha, Brenda, the pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church, Jimmy Carter, and the Rabbi walk into a bar. The Rabbi and the Pastor join the astronaut who have been waiting for them. Leaving Jimmy Carter with the transgendered lesbians who identify as sheep.

Jimmy Carter is uncomfortable and tries to make conversation. When Jimmy gets up to the bathroom Marsha and Brenda start talking smack about him. Jimmy overhears this on the way back to the table, and confronts them, by talking smack about them back with the astronaut.

The Rabbi and the Pastor advise them to calm down, stop acting like children. It is unbecoming of them. They retort by boycotting the bar and talking in a nasty manner about the pastor and rabbi on Facebook. They were mansplaining and oppressing them. Who is being self-righteous?

Everyone else except the Pastor and the Rabbi, they were trying to actually help, offer advice. You can’t let Jimmy Carter, an Astronaut, and two transgendered lesbians who identify as sheep argue in public, who knows what will happen.

Everyone else was caught up in “me, me, me”, while the Pastor and Rabbi saw the big picture. Which is never racist or sexist.

Now that you recognize the signs and symptoms of extreme, self-righteous people with toxic addictive personalities- you are officially not crazy. And have a point, matter, and can stand up for yourself by staying far, far away. So congratulations on knowing and realizing that high fives from Jesus don’t cure you of homosexuality, and being an individual with multiple bodily organs that you know how to use!

extroverts, feelings, humans, introverts, life, Life Advice, psychology, self help, thoughts, Tips, Uncategorized, understanding

The Introverted Child

If you have an introverted child and are reading this, it is not broken. No need to send it back to the manufacturer. Your child also probably isn’t autistic, and stop diagnosing it with things, you are not qualified. You know what you are qualified to do? Love it like any other child, and to stop judging it and worrying so much.

The right attitude to have is love, acceptance, your child actually is special, not like other kids- for once. Stop telling its’ teachers it has autism. Trust me, it will run with that. It is not stupid, it knows what “autistic” kids get away with.

Things which include, but are not limited to:

-Rightfully Claiming Toys that are Their Toys

-Punching &/or Kicking the School Bully in the Crotch

-Exclaiming They are Surrounded by Idiots

-The Sarcasm of a Crochety Old Demon

-Dark &/or Dirty Jokes

-Being “Oppressed”

-“Right Triangles!” During Laps Around the Baseball Diamond

-Laying Flat on the Ground During Dodgeball (Winning)

-Telling the Truth

-Calling Hos Hos

-Dismantling and Tearing Apart Modern Feminism

-Calling Lena Dunhma Lena Dunham

-Having No Female Friends

-Offering to Give their Parents Mercy Air Enemas in the Nursing Home

-Knowing How to Give an Air Enema

Physicians, and behavioral therapists, who went to school, and can professionally diagnose autism, know that these are not symptoms of autism. Especially realizing that Lena Dunham is just Lena Dunham, and could really use an air enema.

They are symptoms of an unhealthy, subversive attitude incurred by the “Oh, you poor thing treatment”. It’s a form of rebelling, the world’s longest-running gag, in essence, a “F*** You”, or a test, if that makes you feel less fooled.

But you can avoid this, really you can. Put that “How to be More Outgoing” book back on the shelf right now.

What to Do

Stop Comparing

As mentioned earlier, every child is different. They have different personalities, ways of processing. They don’t all reach the same milestones at the same time, or when they should, or you think they should.

When you stop demanding that your introverted child be something that it’s not, they are allowed to be themselves. Hopefully, you can live with that and maybe like them. Either way, a lot less resentment is built up.

Lower Your Expectations

Just because Timmy is so popular and had the entire class at his birthday party doesn’t mean your kid will. In fact, most of that class doesn’t give a F’ about Timmy. They’re there for cake, and ice cream, and maybe the bounce house.

And to smell Timmy’s cards for the money smell, every time they’re right they are given a small payment for their services- which can add up to several bounce houses over 18 birthdays. Also, gift cards are the taint of the devil, how are you supposed to, so you ask for an item, but then you- economics is hard.

Your child is Timmy-Timmy is too stupid to smell his own money, appreciate this. Take it in, be happy with the child you have. Your child has also probably googled “Roth IRA” at least once, and if you’re Jewish…be ironically proud.


No one likes being crowded or babied. Usually, it’s better to let people be, do their own thing. Let sleeping dogs lie, especially if they know why werewolves are misunderstood. Introverts have a stronger independent streak, they don’t need to be surrounded by people all the time.

Let them go if you love them. They will come back to you, trust them. They’ve got this, they’ll probably figure it out- better and faster than the other kids. And they will not show this off or share as much, but that’s not a bad thing. Nikola Tesla learned to be wary of Thomas Edison for a reason.


This doesn’t mean that you should leave them with that pack of wolves forever though. You can only learn so much from wolves. Den mother is wise and knowledgeable. But she doesn’t have a whole lot of salad recipes.

Check in on them every once in a while, ask how it’s going. Say you’re there, will attempt a meaningful, engaging conversation- the only conversation worth having. Remind them they matter too.

Let Them Talk

Another great way to do this is to let them talk. They typically need more encouragement to do this or leeway, or for Timmy to shut up and remind him that the cut they demand is fair to all and 2% less than Janet’s. They are also more reliable and have produced concrete results. Abraham Lincoln did say not to change into a horse mid ice-cream- horses don’t have thumbs, brochure?

Invite them to voice their opinion, say something. Give them a chance to speak. No one can keep their emotions and opinions bottled up forever. It’s impossible to distill them and sell them for bounce houses. Most of which they will rent out-but keep one for themselves. Bounce houses are great to ponder franchising in.

What Not to Do

Treat Them Differently

Handicapped people can find their parking spots and legally required ramps on their own. Very few people are completely helpless- but when it comes to “Oh that poor little child”, this is quickly and easily forgotten.

Unwarranted special treatment quickly corrupts and spoils anyone. It should never, and typically doesn’t last forever. No woman wants to marry a Momma’s boy, no man wants to marry a Daddy’s girl. Reminding people that they are perfectly capable of doing things themselves is the best policy. Also, that attention seriously backfires-, particularly among children.

“Encouraging” Them

Even the smallest baby, nay embryo, can wonder what Zumba is, and eventually decided if they should try it. Let this happen. Let people make their own choices- let them mess up, reach conclusions on their own.

Don’t guilt them or make them do things they don’t want to do- it is their choice, they have free will. Tell your introverted child about an activity, or new tiny drunk adult they might like. Let them decide to venture out.

No one is too young to exercise their free will, to be convinced, have points. Gentle and respectful encouragement is better than “If you don’t do this you are a failure and will die.”

Watching Them

Not just watching them keeping an eye on them, WATCHING them. Someone from the NSA seeing a Muslim WATCHING them. This is offensive and scary- even if it could be warranted. Get your evidence first. A qualified, outside third party, fourth party, fifth party threeveth party opinion that isn’t yours.

You don’t know everything, no one ever knows 100% of all available information on everything like ever- especially when it comes to parenting. Calm down, you’re not a failure, literally, hopefully, or metaphorically, or, well you, I still have one of the brochures. It’s adorable.

Ignore Them

An independent streak can be a good thing- but don’t take this as a sign to disconnect, ignore that person forever. Especially a child. No child is ever 100% innocent or helpless, but at least 1% of the time they are, math rhymes with both kinds of –paths for a reason.

Children aren’t supposed to raise themselves, some have- but it didn’t turn out that well. Remind your introverted child that you notice them, don’t let them be overpowered, don’t sell them for a can of beer.

Tell Them What’s Wrong with Them

Yes, you did the nasty, went to pound town, someone fell down and then it got up, the beast with two backs- or adopted, IVF, surrogacy, you’re a parent. Do you really know everything about your child though? Hint, you don’t.

My mom didn’t know that the Chili Parlor/Whorehouse was called the Squirts, in the dark, sleeping in her bed and that I could slip back into the shadows unnoticed so easily. Miscommunications and misunderstandings happen- wrong conclusions made, listening not done, confusion ensues.

Deal with that instead of diagnosing your child as being wrong. Your child knows themselves very well-yes, they can be in denial. But so can you. Everyone can be wrong and something can be wrong with everyone.

Just don’t decree it, loudly, bombastically, with great authority, all the time. It’s probably why some people have to adopt, why Jesus duct taped those legs together.

Your introverted child isn’t some strange, bizarre creature- but they can be, or are, which. By not judging them, and loving, accepting them for who they are, they become a lot less strange and bizarre.

They can even become perfectly ordinary children, who came out of the right person. God doesn’t make…the stork doesn’t, children aren’t….lizard people, so stop treating your introverted child like one. Seriously, they hate mouse sashimi, again, for dinner.

extroverts, How to, humans, Life Advice, self help, Tips, Uncategorized

Faking it for Other’s Pleasure

Pleasing others at your own personal expense is a long-held tradition across all cultures. So is plotting the demise of humanity. The Masses are supposed to accommodate the interests of the minority, but this is rarely enforced.

Which is why we poor introverts are forced to go along with what the extroverts want. But those secret meetings we’ve been having on the telepathic network have been paying in divid…squirrel!

But since extroverts are so simple minded and pedestrian, it’s quite easy to blend in, live unnoticed. The code word is “Splunge”. Their typical behaviors include:

-Opening Their Mouths for No Reason

-Not Closing Them


-Being Bothersome

-Slipping and Falling Into Bear Traps

-Not Seeing the Obvious

-Not Getting Your Awesome Harry Potter Jokes

But never fear, you can imitate this, no, don’t run away, if we imitate them they won’t notice when we shout the code word. Good, you came back, welcome back to the plan, bring it in for an acknowledgment of your mental fortitude.

Extrovert Juice

Our Scientists have found that by simply drinking alcohol, we can imitate their behavior. There are many delicious combinations of alcohols and kinds of alcohols. Our research teams set the bar high for themselves, then immediately regretted it. So the extrovert juice was working.

When they found themselves unable to belly up to it, disappointed in their lives and selves, they really felt like extroverts. So normal, unaccomplished, and so, ordinary, prosaic-they felt like everyone else!

Non-Alcoholic Options

But there are non-alcoholic options. Try opening your mouth, just say words, lots and lots of words. When your therapist asks what you’re doing say “Art”. And that you feel like you’re being judged.


Help a perfectly competent person cross the road. Demand that they get out of their car and get some exercise, glare at them through their window until they acquiesce to your demands and…oh, that’s right, that’s not a good idea. It looks like you have autism, then you definitely don’t blend in.

Just find a woman and tell her she shouldn’t be able to walk. You’ll blend in, especially if you’re a male. Apparently, it is feminist and a compliment.

Stupid Questions

Also ask stupid questions, for example when you’re checking out at the grocery store. “So if I started a business literally called “Your Business”? Or at work, “Am I black?”, and don’t remember anything, take nothing in, digest nothing. So just spend a lot of time on Facebook.

Feelings & Opinions are Facts

Nowadays, not seeing the obvious is very easy. Tell your boss that high fives from Jesus cure homosexuality, the Westboro Baptist Church says so. And just express the heck out of your feelings.

For example, acknowledge aloud when you have to poop, loudly, inquire about the time you will get nachos. Start an argument, fight, a great way to do so is simply ask “Would you like to argue or fight because?”. Something will come up, millenials.

Not Getting Awesome Harry Potter Jokes

Humans are silly, I miss our home planet. And if you want to not get awesome Harry Potter jokes, just don’t be awesome. What do you mean “no one nose”, of course, there’s a way to describe Voldemort, derr, just an example. Or forget you read the books.

Special Occasions

Special occasions are called special because they make you feel special. But pretend not to be special by being special because they’re also called special because they’re for special people, you are the special. They also usually involve extrovert juice.

Social Gatherings

Parties and Family Gatherings are such occasions. Pretend you came out of that woman by remembering nothing, asking stupid questions like, are you okay, and talking about feelings and that you should go out more and have friends. I’m worried about you, did you bedazzle a bear trap? Silly things like that, you were bored.


If you also want a free meal and find yourself on a date, that is a perfect time to fake it for someone else’s pleasure, it also helps if you say your date’s name, a lot. This also works at most other occasions. Even family gatherings.

There are many wonderful reasons to fake it for someone else’s pleasure. So many wonderful reasons that suit your wonderful purposes. A means to an end means you have to reach that end, luckily you rarely have to say the alphabet backward. But whether or not you try the extrovert juice technique or non-alcoholic method, be your best, not yourself.

That way they’ll never see your true self coming.

feelings, humans, life, Life Advice, self help, Tips, Uncategorized

Everyone is (Technically) Racist

Ethnocentrism, according to any English teacher- do not start out with a definition and claim it’s a hook. But for second sentences, believing your culture is better than someone else’s, and evaluating their culture from your culture’s viewpoint. Everybody, not currently in utero and over the age of five, suffers from ethnocentrism.

What does this mean? Congratulations, you’re racist. You probably don’t realize it, but this racism is also encouraged by how the dominant culture portrays cultures that aren’t their own. You can see through this though, and be less racist.

However, this typically only avoids macro-aggressions, i.e., using a certain N-word in public. But macro-aggressions, not so much. Macro-aggressions are more subtle and insidious. For example, presuming a minority makes less money than you. Or has many baby daddies and mamas, or is talking about you when you can’t understand what they’re saying in another language- or is a certain religion.

Sadly, even the goodest of vibes can’t completely fix this. Did you know that animals are the most racist, and they’re actually different races. Have you ever seen a nature documentary? What goes down in the dark is proclaimed in the light when David Attenborough and Jane Goodall aren’t around.

If groups of more than 20 people shouldn’t live and work together, what do you think happens when a different looking stranger comes on? But you can take steps to be less racist, more humane, and less very human. These steps can also help you determine when and where to throw the “R” word around.

  1. Assume Less

The media consists of people, and people have agenda, and can be wrong. Plus they have opinions and personal biases- which are far from facts. When they express these rashly, and assume things, things happen- that aren’t good.

By simply doing this less, and listening, being present mentally, most racism can be completely avoided. Or discrimination, or most every problem ever.

And random side note, someone not liking someone of a different race is not racist, or means they dislike that entire racist- there are bad apple sin every bunch. Or someone of a different race or religion doing something, you get the point.

  1. Do Your Research

This often follows after automatically assuming less about people. Education is a very good thing, when European Christians finally figured out that Jews weren’t killing and eating Christian babies for revenge that was a major positive step towards Jewish-Christian relations.

What you assume is the truth, or general behavior, is not always truly general behavior. You also may misunderstand the motivation or meaning, origins of it. Separating women and men seems really sexist, anti-feminism- also stop automatically assuming all your ideas and your culture is better, and enforcing it is helping, Jesus disapproves of that.

But when you learn that kidnapping women and forcing yourself on them, then those women had to marry the rapist- the separating makes sense. Although that hopefully doesn’t happen anymore, traditions die hard, and stranger danger.

  1. Talk to People

When doing research of this types, non-invasive field research is a good idea. Talk to the other, any kind of other. A political, religious, racial, sexual, there are so many kinds of others. That appreciate “otherness” being overcome.

Non-invasive, not overly personal, welcome questions aren’t out of line in this case. It’s how you learn, from a real life, real person. Textbooks and Wikipedia are fun, but people have much more soul and insight. Plus you can make friends with them. Or at least understand them better.

Food is an excellent way to do this, hummus and falafel are amazing. Isolation and being xenophobic, not so much. Not nearly as tasty.

  1. Imagine Yourself in Their Shoes

Wherever you go there are people. And people will be people, they won’t all be good, but there are similarities. Everyone eats, breathes, and poops. When you encounter someone, or someone’s something that challenges you- remember this.

Jesus said to treat your neighbor as you treat yourself, do unto others as you would to yourself, and Buddha said don’t be a dick.  Or something, I need to brush up on my Buddhism. If you treat others well, they tend to treat you well back- if not, run away, call the cops if you have to. Let them know they messed up.

But if not, don’t cause a problem that doesn’t have to be caused.

  1. Explore

If you never leave your little bubble and only bump bubbles with bubbles that match your bubble that is not healthy for anyone. Genetically, culturally, or mentally. You’re supposed to grow and evolve- learn, be an individual.

You accomplish this by breaking out of your comfort zone, safe space, bubble, personal notions. Change is a good thing, nothing is meant to stay “pure” the same forever. Which is why things have origins, but can’t be claimed as one cultures’, or persons’ completely forever.

You can literally count on that, literally, 1, 2, 3…are Arabic numerals. The Middle East is not offended that most everyone uses them. Cultural Appropriation is complete nonsense. Cultural Appropriation is natural, unstoppable, not offensive.

It is far from the “Black Face!!!” that some people make it out to be. It is a byproduct of tolerance and acceptance. It’s not bad.

But Racism is, in fact so bad it’s natural and unavoidable. But by following these simple steps 99.999% of it can be avoided. Racism will never be completely eradicated, but mostly 99.999% eradicated is never a bad thing.

deep thoughts, feelings, humans, life, poem, poetry, Uncategorized

I Want to see a Tiger

I want to be thrown out of a plane,

land painfully on my ass

in the middle of the jungle

and hear a grr reverberate off the trees,

see the Cobras look worried-

and stare the beast straight in the face.


I want to run through the woods,

ask a silverback gorilla for directions-

and try not to leave a trackable trail of urine.


I want to have to remember how to breathe,

try to hyperventilate quietly

and hope that it’s not lurking out there.


I want to not sleep for days,

get eaten by bugs,

and sneak away when it goes to take a piss.


I want to follow the river to the closest village-

that hopefully has wifi,

call my family,

tell them that the jungle is great,


and spend all my money on a plane ticket home.

I want to sit on a plane,

just stare at the clouds and laugh-

then drink myself to sleep.


I want to come off the plane,

to arms,

and then just look their owners in the eye and say

“I have seen some shit.”

I want to lay in my bed,

look up at the ceiling,

and think,

nothing exciting ever happens anymore.