It is Never that Great
People say you should never give up on the one you love, and that winners never quit. But in some cases, people can be very proud losers. The delusion of romantic love and following your heart, feelings, has really F’ed the entire world up.
Years ago, people still had feelings. But life, responsibility, maturity, and having some integrity, just generally having a conscience, not to mention foresight, stopped some very stupid things from happening. Peer pressure and public shame is so bad it’s useful sometimes.
Not to say that this hasn’t completely gone away, but sentimentality and being your bad-self have been given much more credence and acceptance than they need. And, keep in mind this is coming from an INTJ, CARING ABOUT YOUR REPUTATION, what others think of you, how it affects you and your life. People have gone bananas with rabies!
Everything and everyone is not worth the risk. Feelings, especially romantic ones, are volatile things that people have killed over. They should not to be taken lightly or played with. Anyone who has ever thought that people are just options, or fun to play with, useful little toys, has never been a good person.
Seriously, when having respect for yourself, and hopefully others is looked down upon, seen as “insecure”, and God forbid knowing what you want and having standards, boundaries, or caring enough to just shut up and get over it sometimes is seen as bad, it makes perfect sense why Newt Gingrich wants to build a colony on the moon. Where people will be perfectly content to die, alone, surrounded by moon cats.
You may think you’d be the best significant other ever, someone would be lucky to have you. If you do you are prone to bouts of narcissism. Nobody’s perfect, everybody is themselves, not everybody is going to like you, you’re not always going to get the hopefully a human. It’s not them, it’s you. No creepy, stalkerish grand gesture can fix it.
The quicker you realize this the better. There are other fish in the sea, but there is also such a thing as overfishing. But not everybody likes fish, or was meant to eat fish. There are other sources of protein and nourishment in life. It just takes a while for most people to realize this. Really, insert fish joke here.
Most importantly, how many people kiss in the rain, or want to? First of all, who would hold the umbrella, and two, there are perfectly good places indoors. Not everyone will want to try as hard as you in a relationship, or feel as strongly as you. There’s nothing wrong with that, people are different.
It may seem unfair and cruel, and you don’t feel all the feels, there are no grand declarations of love, they don’t care, you can do better! But really, isn’t the grandest of gestures sticking around, being loyal, honest, staying, working on and appreciating what you have? If you can’t appreciate what you have someone else somewhere someday is going to appreciate what you had.
Side note, yes you won that bet, aromatic and proud. Some dead roses and a wonderfully vulgar, yet poetic rant on how much damn work they are to grow and keep alive will be sent to your home address. Along with a survey regarding whether or not you know any handsome dying millionaires billionaires interested in an arranged marriage, who would let me keep my queenly jewels and ornaments. Shiny things, also a large tax free inheritance, properties, any, my cat is very hungry, bills.
Speaking of insert seamless clever transition relating to the last sentence of the last paragraph here, the movies. There are some very good movies, “Titanic” was a very good movie. But would you want to be anyone on that ship, especially Jack?
Does “My Best Friend’s Wedding” make you think, I need to reenact that in real life. Would the movie ever end like it did in real life? Probably yes because justification of effort, but so happily and damage less our relationship is fine-ly? We all forgive each other and like each other-ly?
If there’s no real word that accurately describes how a movie ends, things would never end that way in real life, outside of the movie.
In fact, that movie would never even happen. People, with respect for themselves, know that they will have to put up with some crap. However, there is a crap limit, a max crap capacity. It’s even worse if you’re full of that crap, so emotionally you wish you were dead but you lie to yourself.
Either God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, or you’re growing as a person. Fun fact, God is dead and if you were a grown up person you never would have ended up here in the first place.
But you can do better, everyone can do better. Usually by leaving someone like that and moving on with their lives. Finding someone more suitable to them, who has their shit together, and not in a backpack, or a shit store, or a shit museum, or stacked up, you get the point.
Meanwhile, there they are, someone who thought there’d be an epic battle, but wasn’t. And there was no magic, no unrealistic movie ending, because life and no one is special, God is also still dead. And nobody wins. Love is grand.
If history tells you anything, war is bad. It’s avoided as much as possible. It’s hopefully and usually not the first choice. If people aren’t willing to fight over access to water, something you can only live without for three days, no one with a brain or an ounce of dignity is going to fight for you. You are not water, you will never be that necessary or great. People can live without you for at least three days.
You will never be a pimp, or the bachelor, or the bachelorette. You are stuck being yourself, and you may fall in love, someone may love you, or you could be alone forever. Who knows? But no one has to fight. In fact, people are tired of it. So please, everybody, calm down.