bullies, confidence, feelings, How to, humans, Life Advice, Uncategorized

How to Argue, Part Two

In any argument, hopefully it’s with another person, or yourself, or at least a cat. They make noises and have personalities. The wind does not count as an audience. The noises that people make, and their personalities are all different.

People also have different viewpoints, feelings which is why you can’t win them all. But there are some basic tips and tricks, that at least help you agree to disagree. But you still get to know your audience more when you don’t win, which is a win in itself.

Tone, Voice Level

Being loud and condescending is a turn off for everyone. On the other hand, being overly humble and quiet doesn’t work either. How are you talking, communicating your point? What words are you using, how are you saying them?

When people don’t like what they see or hear, they will move on- and not think of you very highly.

Listening

Not listening is another universal turn off, it indicates and often accompanies a poor attitude. That is not humble, or lets everyone speak and be heard. This obviously isn’t fair, and negates why people communicate with each other in the first place.

Why People Talk, Argue

You’re in this situation for a reason, don’t forget that. Someone started it, and has to take the heat or get out of the kitchen. Arguing isn’t always personal. People can just be wrong, ill-informed to their detriment.

Arguing, which doesn’t mean yelling, is helpful, useful. It resolves issues, helps people connect and really see, maybe even get each other.

To reach this point though, you need to know your audience and basically not be a dick. You also have to be strategic, what does your audience like, what will sway them?

Some topics and people are emotionally driven, i.e., “Childless couples are selfish”, others are logical, “Childless couples use birth control”, or a bit of both. A childless couple, or person who doesn’t like children is selfish or other bad adjective, hate them!

But when one considers the logistics of children, science, and the emotional factors, burden of raising children- they might not be for everyone for any reason. Or some people are just (possibly horrible) people who shouldn’t reproduce, or at least now.

And not having something doesn’t mean you hate it, or because you have it, doesn’t mean you like it. Everyone doesn’t have a car, do they hate cars and love riding the bus? No- and logical, true conclusions like this, are reached by arguing. And not assuming and generalizing, or acknowledging your feelings.

When done correctly- not being overly emotional, mentioning scripture, and relying on evidence, while using your manners eyes are opened, ceilings of all materials shattered, property lines determined.

So the next time you hear someone try to call down Jesus into court over a traffic ticket, run, after the person not doing that and staying on topic wins, and remind yourself that you’re not crazy.

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